dear dad
i know we put this blog up to keep up dates on you, but i am writting this to you. i want you to know how much i love you and how much i have enjoyed taking care of you the past three years, taking you to all of you appointment, to the stores, the bank, where ever you need brent or i to take you. iam writting this because at this point in you illness i am really stuggling with my emotions and i am having a hard time watching the different phases you are going through the past three weeks have really bee a roller coaster for you and it is really hard for me to watch. i am sure it is for jerri to. i don't know how to express my feeling the anger i feel, the saddness the hurt knowing that their is nothing more i can do to help you, their is no phone call i can make to help the pain go away, their is to phone call to make to help you breath any better, the good old days all i had to do was make a phone call i can't do that anymore, i feel so helpless just like you. dad a couple of months ago i came to your house in tears, it was the day they told me i had to put you on hospice, you toke my hand and said hon, you have cried so many tears over me, i said no dad not enough you just laughed. i can't stop the tears i don't know how. i think the love we all feel for you is coming through me and the time you and i spend together because i am not strong anymore, i have to lean on jerri now, i have been through way to much with you to be strong for you anymore dad. my heart is aching for you,.
Kelly you are stronger than you think, you have done so much for dad and will continue to do so through yuor strength. i admire you and all the tings you have done for all of us kids in caring for dad. Jerry seems to have been some relief for you which i was glad to see and have. as always call if you need any thing and i will do what i can. i really thank you for keeping me posted on Dads condition. some times it is hard to get him to talk about how he is really doing.
ReplyDeletelove you and thank you for all you have done.
Kelli your one of the strongest women I know. I can not tell you how greatful I am to have you in my life and in Grandpas life. You have done SO much. MORE then anyone could have ever asked of you. You are an inspiration to us all. I love you so much and I admire all that you have done and all that your doing. You have been there for Grandpa from the beginning and I can't tell you how thankful I am for everything you have done. I wish I could have done more to help you. I am so glad Jerri is here to help take some burden off you. I am glad you have her to lean on, you need a strong shoulder just like we all do. Thank you both for everything and for keeping me, as well as everyone else, up to date with Grandpa. I know he appreciates you all.
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