Update 11/30/10

Patricia printed all of the comments everyone has posted on this blog and read them to pappa today.  With tears in his eyes in the end, Patricia told him she would bring down more new posts arrive, and he said he'd like that. 

Patricia's report: he seems to be having an okay day; doesn't want to eat, but he was able to give her a strong hug to show is appreciation for all that she has been doing. 

Thank you Trish!

Thanksgiving has brought many family members in to see Dad. He enjoyed the visits limited as they were. He had a bad night last night, but had an okay afternoon. I have been fortunate enough to spend some of the last three days with him, priceless is all I can say. I leave out early in the morning so as I said my good byes t0 him tonight and gave him a hug and kiss, he hugged me back real hard. Memories are still being stashed.

His yesterdays are sometimes closer than his today. We talked about Ginger his horse when he was young and lived in Alpine. He would get on Ginger and go for a ride, seems Ginger didn't mind hauling dad out away from the house, but she refused to ever haul him home, she would buck him off and run home riderless... Leaving young Gary far from home and on foot.. Dang that Ginger.

Love you Dad.. Thanks for the fun..Lori

Update 11/24/2010

Dad seems to be sleeping alot more these days.  He is easily confused and doesn't always make sense when he says something.  This is an extremely difficult time to watch.  The hospice nurse indicated yesterday that he wasn't looking too good, loosing weight and his face is beginning to narrow.  These posts are becoming more and more difficult to write as I feel a though I am describing my dad dying, I guess I am and it brings tears to my eyes.  But I am hoping for those who are unable to talk to him or come see him that this helps you to feel attached to him and know how he is doing. 

9:00 at night!

At 9:00 tonight the phone rings caller id says Bennett house I freak out thinking something is wrong answer the phone and Lamae is on the other end of the line. She asks me to tell Papa what time was. I say ok thinking this is rather odd but what ever. Papa gets on the phone and I tell him it is 9:00. He responds with ok so 9:00 in the morning. I say no Papa its 9:00 at night. He responds will you tell Lamae that.

Patricia

dear dad
i know we put this blog up to keep up dates on you, but i am writting this to you. i want you to know how much i love you and how much i have enjoyed taking care of you the past three years, taking you to all of you appointment, to the stores, the bank, where ever you need brent or i to take you. iam writting this because at this point in you illness i am really stuggling with my emotions and i am having a hard time watching the different phases you are going through the past three weeks have really bee a roller coaster for you and it is really hard for me to watch. i am sure it is for jerri to. i don't know how to express my feeling the anger i feel, the saddness the hurt knowing that their is nothing more i can do to help you, their is no phone call i can make to help the pain go away, their is to phone call to make to help you breath any better, the good old days all i had to do was make a phone call i can't do that anymore, i feel so helpless just like you. dad a couple of months ago i came to your house in tears, it was the day they told me i had to put you on hospice, you toke my hand and said hon, you have cried so many tears over me, i said no dad not enough you just laughed. i can't stop the tears i don't know how. i think the love we all feel for you is coming through me and the time you and i spend together because i am not strong anymore, i have to lean on jerri now, i have been through way to much with you to be strong for you anymore dad. my heart is aching for you,.

Cute Story ... Just had to share

So Patricia went down to visit with Pappa this morning.  She said he was sitting in his chair, kinda out of it, and all of sudden sat up in his chair and said "you know what you could get me?"  Patricia was so excited - he asked for a Big Mac and Fries! 

Dad seems to be more tired these days and getting enough oxygen is a battle every minute of the day.

trish and I went to see dad this morning, he was already having a bad day, apparently he had one yesterday to according to lamae, very confused, and tried, when we were their today he just wanted to sleep, and could hardly carry on a conversion with trish or I. he also was walking really unsteady, and stumbling quite a bite , so when trish check his oxygen tank, he had it turned up again, so i am thinking he is getting to much oxygen again, lamae said he had it up to 7 yesterday because it was real bad day for him. he would not eat at all while we were their, so i will check on him later, we keep our visit short, so he could rest.

went today to meet with dad's nurse and him, i got to visit with dad for awhile before the nurse came. he told me he was real tried today but has not been as anxious lately, or as stressed since he has been taking his morphine and ativan on a regular basis now, so i think he has realized, it is helping so much and not making him feel as stressed as he was for the past 6 months. amber the nurse told him to keep taking his medication regularly, although his oxygen registrated 89 way below where we want it, trying to keep his oxygen is a job in it's self. he gets real stubborn about keeping it on, i keep telling him i am going to glue it to his nose, he just laughs at me. bless his little heart. he did not eat much today. when i left at 4:00 he was all but ready to go to bed, kendra was their cleaning the house for them so i am sure as soon as she leaves he will be off to bed 5:00 i am sure.

did not get a chance to go and see dad today, lamae called just before i got off work and said dad had gone to bed at 5:00 pm and i did not get off work untill 5:30. i called him earlier to see how he was doing and to tell him i would be over but he had a heard time hearing me on the phone, he said, he got into trouble a couple to times with his breathing today. he said he got on top of it with his morphine and ativan, both times, so when i talk to him on the phone he seemed really tried and slow speaking. so tomorrow i will be their most of the afternoon, with the hospice nurse, so i will beable to see how he is doing. i think the weather today and the time change has him a little confused. so with it getting darker yesterday and today, he is going to bed at 5:oo so i hope that changes as time goes on.

it's finally nice to hear he is having some good days, i will be adding update or letting jerri know while she is out of town next week so hopefully i am doing this right. i hope he will stay upbeat and in good spirts.

Update 11/6/10

Dad was having a good day today.  He was following me around the house - while I was trying to get things done.  He was funny today!  In a very good mood. 

Update 11/5/10

Dad had a really good day today.  He was in good spirits and was up and moving around more today.  The hospital bed was delivered today.  Kelli and Brent got it situated in his bedroom today. 

Sorry to hear Gary is doing so bad. He is truly one if my most favorite people. We will pray for him and keep him in our thoughts. Love to you, Auntie Glenda

My Dad, My Hero.. I love you tons..

Welcome

Welcome to The Cavalier Blog! 

This blog has been created to keep family and friends up to date on how dad is doing.  Dad has COPD and was placed on hospice just over a month ago.  It is hard to watch such a kind dear man struggle to breath.  Please feel free to add a comment to the blog, either a memory you wish to share with everyone or a message we can share with him. 

For those of you who don't know or don't remember dad was a member of The Cavalier Club.  This was a car club that was well respected in the State of Utah.  Periodically I will dig out an article that was written about the club and share it with everyone. 

Today, November 4, 2010

Dad had bad night last night.  They had to call the hospice nurse at 4:30 am because dad couldn't breath.  After the nurse and Kelli arrived they were able to help him relax enough to catch what little breath he could find. Needless to say he was pretty tired today.